Falling Behind

I meant to blog today. A proper post. With a ton of pictures and words. I had some new presents to myself arrive in the week and I did some spinning I was quite proud of. Unfortunately, today has been rough.

I went to London with Trev to visit his mum (he’s been a few times already, but it’s the first time I’ve gone) and it was hard. I didn’t stay for long – Trev was staying overnight so he can help his dad with a few things tomorrow (they moved house in the week just gone) and after a fiasco we had when I stayed over on Monday, we decided it was best if I didn’t stay this time. So I was at the hospital for an hour, and then headed home.

His mum looked better than I thought she would, but it was still extremely hard. It’s hard not to feel guilty about it being so long since we saw them, but it’s difficult when you live so far away. And she’s resigned to the fact that her cancer is terminal, which is quite upsetting when you hear her talk about it so frankly. Was very hard to keep it together. In addition to which she had a small stroke just over a week ago as a result of her medication which makes it hard to understand her sometimes and it just makes her sound so sad. She cried when I left.

So, tonight has been hard. I don’t know where the time has gone – I guess I’ve just been wandering around aimlessly like a little lost sheep which I am without my Trev here. I did a few rows of knitting, but wasn’t really in the mood for much despite all my grandiose plans of how I was going to spend the evening.

So it’s only 22:10 now, which isn’t that late but I’m shattered from spending goodness knows how many hours travelling today and this post has already ended up being longer than I intended. I guess it’s a result of not wanting to go to sleep, which I don’t since I’m on my own in the flat for the first time since we moved in over 18 months ago, and even the cat doesn’t want to know me right now (she’s sitting on the back of the sofa shooting me evil glances). And I can’t bear to sleep in the bedroom without Trev, so I guess I’m sleeping on the sofa 🙂

I’ll be back in the morning – I’m sure in a much better state of mind as I know Trev will soon be on his way home to me.

In case you read this babe, I love you x

Snow Day 5th Feb 2009!


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